To be honest, I had this week’s post planned. I had just recently learned about July being mental health awareness month and had to jump on the bandwagon. I planned to write about the strides we have made, making mental health a normal conversation. How depression among other mental health struggles was now not a reserve for the ‘ crazy’ in the society. How the mental health stigma has reduced in recent times. But I changed my mind.
Just recently I turned twenty, and to be honest ,I’ve been less scared. See, as a teenager I think I knew the drill. A lot of things I did were excused with an eye roll and an exaggerated sigh, ”teenagers, right?” I could get angry outbursts, be as irresponsible as I wanted but somehow my age made all these excusable. Maybe at first turning thirteen is confusing but a few years down the line, you actually realize how fun it is. You basically look like an adult, can pass for an adult but when times call for it, you could drift back to being a kid.
Maybe it’s all those ‘adulting’ skits I watch on YouTube (and laugh too much at the exaggerated suffering that adults supposedly go through) but somehow turning twenty and basically being stamped as a fully functioning adult is a bit scary. And I don’t think I’m scared about things like paying taxes or finding a nice job but maybe I feel like being an adult is a seal that you are pretty much alone now. You still have support from family but not as much as you did as your naive ten year old self. You just can’t call your parents in the middle of the night to help you make a decision. Remember how as kids we just wished for the freedom adults had? Well maybe some of us (read me😂) were not prepared for everything that came with being grown. It makes me wonder if I’m supposed to act a bit more mature now. Probably stop making all those out of context jokes I make that mostly are funny only to me. Maybe invest in suits now because I’ve outgrown jeans and t-shirts. Maybe even start a fully fledged business because apparently that’s what every twenty year old on instagram did.
But maybe I’m overreacting a bit. However, this is a milestone I hit and I’m surprised I haven’t had an existential crisis yet.